So the past several days, an organization naming themselves the U.S. Day of Rage (akin to the Middle Eastern movement of the same name) managed to organize themselves and several hundred of them camped out at Wall St. to demand an end to an unjust economic system, free market economy, global warming, clubbing baby seals, and whatever it is the privileged middle class feels disturbing their free thinking lifestyle. The movement was called ‘Occupy Wall St.’ and by and large they managed to do just that.
Before we continue with the demand-by-demand look of the movement itself, allow me to briefly acquaint you with these ‘radical activists.’ When I was in college I came to know a lot of them. Most, if not all, are middle class kids. Comfortable in their dorms or rented houses, never having to actually do anything more difficult in their lives but to actually go to class. For some reason, they got angry with the world (who gave them more than most, actually) and decided to lash out. They do this by public displays of disobedience, which mostly resulted in them being arrested and people being disrupted in their routine lives (you know, that thing called ‘going to work to bring food for the table’, something that never crosses their minds).
You know what gets me though, is that everytime they pull something like this, all of a sudden a crop of new fanbois sprout like so many mushrooms in a dank cell. Oh they got arrested? Police brutality. They got maced? Police brutality. Let me tell you something: They want to get arrested. Matter of fact they do everything they can to get arrested. One female 'activist' reached beyond the barricade to grab a cop. Of course she was arrested. Her compatriots then pushed and shoved to prevent her from getting arrested, they were pepper sprayed. What the fuck do you expect? Another brandished a baseball bat at a police officer trying to keep them on the sidewalk (you know, so cars driven by people who actually work can pass?) and he expects the cop to just smile and shake his head? The fanbois are no less capitalistic though...so that's a bit of irony.
A lot of them are anarchists; many are communists (yep. Now, you bring out the Soviet Union and the DPRK and they sputter about something that has to do with ‘it was not Marx’s intention’), some are even Leninists (which are the most entertaining, let me tell you).
In any case now that you’ve been acquainted with the species, let us see what they actually want. Well, they have listed 13 demands on their website. For some reason, a Manhattan based PR firm called Workhouse Publicity – which, mind you, mainly work with celebrities, fashion and luxury clients (oh look, how very capitalistic) decided to help them out. The demands are thus:
1. Restoration of the living wage.
Thi This demand can only be met by ending "Freetrade" by re-imposing trade tariffs on all imported goods entering the American market to level the playing field for domestic family farming and domestic manufacturing as most nations that are dumping cheap products onto the American market have radical wage and environmental regulation advantages. Another policy that must be instituted is raising the minimum wage to twenty dollars an hr.
Comments: Well okay, sure. You start imposing tariffs on foreign products coming into the US, and other countries start imposing tariffs on American products coming into their countries. Guess what: American products are still going to be more expensive. You’ll pay more for your patchouli incense, which will, of course, disrupt your commune with nature. Not only that, people not so advantaged as you would have to pay more for life sustaining necessities like food, medicine, etc. But see, you can afford it. You don’t care.
2. Institute a universal single payer healthcare system.
To do this all private insurers must be banned from the healthcare market as their only effect on the health of patients is to take money away from doctors, nurses and hospitals preventing them from doing their jobs and hand that money to wall st. investors.
Comment: So, your country is in a recession. People are struggling to make money to begin with. Your country is deep in debt (wait, this has something to do with a latter demand), and barely have money to keep you safe (which it is doing admirably, one might add). Now you want it to pay for your little boo boos? England tried this, and they went bankrupt in the 70s. Well, sure, you have Cuba – your socialist/communist paradise. But Cuba is small. They can afford this shit. And the quality of Cuban healthcare is probably not up to par (well, as good as cheap/free healthcare will give you), their main source of medicine is the black market, no patient protection, no malpractice laws and members of the ruling party (wait, there’s only ONE ruling party) will always get priority. Want that?
3. Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.
Comment: Well, this sounds familiar…oh yeah, it’s been done. Back in the days in the Eastern Block, they did this. Basically this meant that you get paid for being there, not working nor for results. What did it do to them? Well, people not working. They can just chill out all day in the office, and they still get paid. OF COURSE you want this shit. The thought of actually having to earn a living must be terrifying for you.
4. Free college education.
Comment: Another classic demand. Unfortunately a lot of these so called college educated morons here believe it too. Let me spell this out for you: Quality education is expensive. Free college education is possible in smaller countries, yes, on the caveat that only a smaller number of the population (10% for instance) wants to get a higher education. Now, in most countries, this is just not possible. First of all, where will the money come from? Someone will have to pay. If we increase your taxes, you’ll scream. If we cut food/healthcare program, you scream. So who’s gonna pay? Another result is that the quality of education drops. Yep. Free college education means your faculty members will get paid peanuts. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys. This is what happens when you think college is a right. It’s not. College is a privilege. It’s not for everyone. Putting just any moron into college results in the celebrated mediocrity we see in our society today. But of course, you’re the 99%. You are the celebrated mediocrity.
5. Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand.
Comment: Phew! That was a mouthful. This seems to be utopian, on one end. Who WOULDN’T want to fill their cars up with water instead of gas? But let’s see the alternative. See, alternative fuel sources are either too expensive or too dangerous. Forget all the crap you hear about the oil industry holding us back. Do you want to drive around with a miniature fission reactor in your fuel tank? Hydrogen powered engines are expensive. Sure, you can afford it – just ask mommy. But the technology just isn’t there. Plus alternative fuels like jathropa oils and such have their own environmental problems too. And lets not even talk about batteries. You know how its manufactured?
6. One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now.
Comment: Ah..I’m tired of saying this…WITH WHAT MONEY? Spend one trillion on infrastructure, forget everything else right? Good for you.
7. One trillion dollars in ecological restoration planting forests, reestablishing wetlands and the natural flow of river systems and decommissioning of all of America's nuclear power plants.
Comment: Right. What’ll happen if this happens? Most people are forced to heat their homes by way of burning their feces and chopping down nearby trees. Oh wait…
8. Racial and gender equal rights amendment.
Comment: At last you make some sense. However, this isn’t much of a problem in the United States eh? I mean, say that fucking thing here.
9. Open borders migration. Anyone can travel anywhere to work and live.
Comment: Three quarters of Mexico, half of South America, whole of Cuba and whoever can make it across the Bering Strait alive moves to U.S. (or any other place that puts minimum wage at around 20 $ and abolishes immigration law) within a week. After that happens even 10 trillion might be spent on infrastructure in that particular country, things will still go to shit within a couple of years.
10. Bring American elections up to international standards of a paper ballot precinct counted and recounted in front of an independent and party observers system.
Comment: As opposed to what standard does it have now, North Korean? You people elected Obama. If that doesn’t show that the election wasn’t rigged, I don’t know what does.
11. Immediate across the board debt forgiveness for all.
Debt forgiveness of sovereign debt, commercial loans, home mortgages, home equity loans, credit card debt, student loans and personal loans now! All debt must be stricken from the "Books." World Bank Loans to all Nations, Bank to Bank Debt and all Bonds and Margin Call Debt in the stock market including all Derivatives or Credit Default Swaps, all 65 trillion dollars of them must also be stricken from the "Books." And I don't mean debt that is in default, I mean all debt on the entire planet period.
Comment: So basically, you want to be able to shop on e-bay, buying whatever the fuck, with your credit card, and not have to pay for shit? Hell, I’m with you on this one! Nothing better than free shit right? Who gives a fuck about the guys who actually MAKE the shit. Not to mention their employees. And their employees’ wages. Who cares that you took out a bad loan, or buy that house you really can’t afford, or take that trip to India to commune with some stinking guru who probably haven’t showered in a decade on your daddy’s credit card right? Shit, you don’t wanna pay for shit goddammit! Oh, and let’s not forget who the biggest lender is these days. Yep, you got it. The People’s Republic of China. So I invite you to go to Beijing, face the politburo and tell them, “We don’t want to pay you anymore. FUCK your nuclear weapons, modern 1 billion man army, and everything else you got.”
12. Outlaw all credit reporting agencies.
Comment: *Sigh*, how the hell did you survive childhood? So in the middle of a recession, you want to take away jobs? Jobs that are actually still paying people? Oh yea, that’s so you can NOT PAY YOUR FUCKING CREDIT CARDS.
13. Allow all workers to sign a ballot at any time during a union organizing campaign or at any time that represents their yeah or nay to having a union represent them in collective bargaining or to form a union.
Comment: You know why a lot of US companies outsource? Yeah, the union. So every time a worker feels that he’s not getting his fair share (Vladimir, you have to show up at work at 930, not 11) they can unionize and sign ballots and throw shit. Yes. Great job. The economy will surely benefit from such genius.
So there you have it folks. This is what these monkeys want. Let’s all hope this fucking stupidity don’t infect us too. God knows we have enough problems.